Endless circle

Struggles of an endless effort,

Fading away unseen,

With every drop of dew,

Every ounce of sweat,

Thirst never quenches

Wandering, running, 

An eternal search,

Is this my destiny? 

An unknown purpose,

Yet i march on...

From mountains to plains,

Deserts to oceans,

Rivers to lake to ponds,

Gathering everything in my path,

The burden dragging me,

An inch closer to wither away,

Destiny, purpose, just a hazy vision

Bursting from within, thundering,

Erupting, the engulfed emotions,

Every drop collected, 

Every drop reaching the surface,

Introspecting my own image,

The reflection reveals my true self,

A true form of myself, 

With a continuous strive to achieve,

Growing through life, candid realization,

A new self, pure within,

For i must strive harder,

As the true purpose blossoms,

I find my joy in you.

I Dream of Hope

Walking towards a new destiny,

a disdained gloomy future,

but there you were waiting, standing by me,

I stumbled, I fell, I moved away,

confused, disoriented, lacking belief,

unknowing what lies ahead, I took the leap,

But you were there, watching over me,

I ran as fast as I could, I swam across and into the depths,

I screamed, in pain and misery,

resonating in me the will and your strength,

I saw you smiling back at me,

Disgraced, damaged, I shielded myself,

Engulfed in a cocoon of self-induced banishment,

Disrespected, dishonored your existence in me,

clouded emotions, discerning my inner-belief,

In a distant hope, I felt you miles away, waiting

Humiliated with my own self-induced pain,

Disloyal to my sub-conscious, 

Vividly dreaded thoughts overpowering,

I searched for you in my memories,

withdrawn from emotions, 

a blabbering uncontrolled state,

Who was I ? what am I? I failed to recognize,

It was not your fault but mine,

yet I dreamed to reunite,

Why do I still breathe? why am I alive?

Is it a foolish dream I chase,

Is it why I ran away? I know now I was wrong,

too stubborn, too rigid, I struggled to escape,

to find a balance of passion and life

Emerging out from the cocoon of despair,

Tumbling to find a grip, yearning,

To cherish those memories again,

to feel alive with your touch,

to be born again with you as my wings,

soaring away into the endless light,

and breathe into a new life.

Is it just a dream? 

Will I ever wake up to see you,

Standing there, holding me,

watching over me, for all I have realized,

My purpose, My life are incomplete,

I always believed, I always knew,

on this crossroads of life,

I would be waiting for you.

a journey's destiny

Most of us must be experiencing this in our lives...so here are a few lines i wrote down while working....

My Reprise....

we have so much to achieve, so far to go, but the questions of how, when, why and what, always play

with us, life just laughs back at us...always a new way of saying "i (life) was just screwing with you" .....

hope you've been there, hope u have wondered, but that's just the way it was, it is and is going to be, so

live life like you have never lived before but do the things that make you feel happy and proud (in your

own version of your own story :P)

Deep inside,

Rush through the veins,

Feelings high,

Meth can’t do better,

Engulfed in a disarray of smoke,

An evil, wilderness awoken,

Back into being, back in the present,

To thrive, to prove its might,

Surviving with air, every second as it rises,

Affecting the mind,

A smooth calm with darkness inside,

Stronger and stronger, it kicks in,

Heavier it gets with every pull,

Known and understood by a few,

A momentary peace, shallow inside,

And never to stop again,

A relationship unbroken,

Ever rising smoke,

Never ending ash and dust,

Forged with every puff,

And stronger by every drag.....

Intoxicate me,

Intoxicate me,

Reprise.

The versions of truth,

Embodied with lies,

Strangest thoughts,

An aim so high,

Every step,

Further down through darkness,

A path unknown,

Through fire and dungeons,

To reach a new height,

To feel so proud,

Restless, lunacy and fear,

Revolving through ideas,

It’s just life or is it a dream,

Awaken me,

Awaken me,

Stop the dreams,

 A new day, A new moment, dark or bright

Surprise me,

The thin line between thought and reality

When will it stop?

Another new day,

But the feelings are same,

Life it is and that's my Reprise....

Destiny unfolds itself with time....

eternities have passed,
as the dust makes vision difficult,
pulling me in with every step,

Decades have passed ,
happiness washed away by waves,
thrusting sorrows onto my shore,

years have passed,
naivity and ignorance blossomed,
vulnerability striking at my door step,

months have passed,
i dont recognize myself anymore,
a myriad of images clouding my mind,

days have passed,
engulfed in deep thoughts, frozen to the soul,
unmindful of the present,

but a ray of hope lingers,
every second i breathe, I KNOW,
every moment, I SURVIVE,
i find a new self within,
a day is not far away,
happiness shall be truly mine...
destiny will unfold a brighter future.

for years i yearn......

for years i yearn, waiting in despair,
fighting and screaming for survival,
for years i yearn, digging through the shadows,
following the darkness, intriguing,
weathered in the rains, 
smashed against the rocks,
torn, hurt, drenched in a subtle sorrow,
for years have passed by, unnoticed,
unforgivable, not thought of,
but here i am still wandering the woods,
a lone walker through the deserted sands,
feelings and emotions left unnoticed,
and finally as i lay down,
the cool breeze, every pricking blade of grass,
reminding me, questioning me,
as i look into the night sky,
who am i ? what have i achieved?
what is it i am yearning for?....
something can never be answered,
but lingers still the hope,
to rise and see the beautiful daylight,
showing me direction, showing me a path,
bringing me out of darkness,
and something else cribs me,
a new dream, a new desire,
once again.....for years i yearn....

My tryst with nicotine

Engulfed in a disarray of smoke,
an evil, wilderness awoken,
back into being, back in the present,
to thrive, to prove its might,
surviving with air, every second as it rises,
affecting the mind,
a smooth calm with darkness inside,
stronger and stronger, it kicks in,
heavier it gets with every pull,
known and understood by a few,
a momentary peace, shallow inside,
and never to stop again,

A relationship unbroken, 
ever rising smoke,
never ending ash and dust,
forged with every puff,
and stronger by every drag.....

Support adds value

plains with tall lush green grass,
animals and plants lived in harmony,
calamities brought down everything,
one tree stood strong,
roots firm in the ground,
beating the scorching heat,
fighting the strong winds,
holding the plains stiff from rains,

the plains smiled,
the tree was its only support,
it wanted to be more,
wanted to more,

it shifted, it rose,
raised a hill of its own,
now the strong winds became breeze,
the rains became streams of water,
the scorching sun was no more,
the tree survived, now it flourished,
the plains smiled,
everyday it thanked the tree,
by being something for it,
as it stood strong and bore new leaves,
as the fruits grew and the tree aged,
the hill was there to support it,
for everything the tree had been for it .......

couple of lines part-2

dont wander off with your thoughts to a completely whole new world where ur feelings will carry u away to a far far place where you will forget who u are, who others are, what u would actually do and what u would want to do....and thats when u will fail at one of the most important lessons that u need to learn these days...REALISATION....

people have their own way of thinking, their own thought process, their own perception which leads to their own meaning of the whole situation....when u stop for a second and think what others might have to say or feel then u will understand...as said in the movie 'V FOR VENDETTA', "if u see as i see, if u feel as i feel, and if u seek as i seek", the rest of the dialogue is for the movie but this part for ur life....see what others see, understand what they will feel, seek as they seek any situation or a circumstance...only then u will realise what is best for u and for ur loved ones around....until then u will be lingering in a vast empty darkness and u wont be doing justice to anything or anyone around u.....and believe it when u cant do that then its just gonna make u feel even bad becoz every second u will be hurting the person u love....

concrete ideas, behaviour and thoughts can change ur life and bring it to a whole new level....

society exists in a state where any random person will come upto u and tell u how best to lead ur life...as if u dont know whats good for you...and always remember there is nothing right and nothing wrong....when u make a decision it is either good for u or bad for u...good for others or bad for others in various permutation and combinations....dont try to think urself as someone great...there is always gonna be a role model for your life...if there is none then be your own role model...be a better role model for others to follow....u dont have to achieve big things in life...be a better human being...be compassionate, even animals are compassionate about their loved ones, about other animals around them and after multiple stages of evolution if ur ego and pride take the better of you then its just degrading the whole system and bringing the whole humanity down....

be a better human...lead a better life....care when its necessary...do whats good for you and what could be good for others....

all the best....

P.S : not trying to be another saint or a philosopher....just my opinion....think about what i wrote and decide for urself...its all in your hands.....

-with love
deathangel......

couple of lines part-1

sometimes just a minute can make u go through hell....when u know that someone would be hurt with something u just said or something that u went against ur own principles, ethics or ur thoughts that u built up ur entire life.....and then it comes down to one final moment where u either walk away or u stand still and walk through it.....

decisions sometimes are very important but then the same decisions cost u a lot....in this world mascaraed event where feelings, thoughts and emotions are kept behind beautiful masks, once u see what is behind that mask u will always see the crystal clear image of one's true self....making decisions only for u might be selfish but once u have truly understood a person making a decision involves a lot of thought....it sure does involve a lot of thought because u r so much in love that u wont be ever able to hurt them.....and then when ur mood gets in the way and u stop ur thought process for a while...that is when it happens...that is when u feel a through ur heart going in....its like stabbing urself pretty neat and clean and the wound actually remains closed with the knife but it sure is hell becoz all u can think of is what the others might be going through especially when u can speculate it.....

then comes a time where u will have to analyse things, u develop a new perception, a new ideal, a new method, a new vision....and u understand better, u try to feel better, u try to be better than u ever could be and if everything is right then it comes out to be one of the best smiles u can ever imagine of....a hug that u would be longing to wait for a life time...a gentle kiss to show u that ur loved......

but why does one have to go through all of this ? why does someone have to feel all this ? the answer is simple and pretty obvious.....U think, u have a brain, u have ur thoughts and that changes ur perception, ur level of optimism and beings a completely new and different platform.....leads to misunderstanding becoz ur foolish enough to look what are the facts, ur dead inside to think abt others, ur selfish inside to feel anything....which leads to further many things that u cant expect and u will never accept....why is that becoz u didnt spend a little more time thinking about others and u rather just thought about ur own self.......

u learnt it all the while, u heard it all the time, u know it for a fact......"think twice before u say anything" and that is what always matters the most ........


- with love
deathangel.........